Hi, it’s me again, coming back for another round of staunch criticism of how RPGs, with the spotlight onBaldur’s Gate 3specifically, handle romance. I’ve already talked about howthe game’s playersexuality flattens out the romantic experience, and sided withBaldur’s Gate 2writer David Gaider’s view that the game’sa little too horny for its own good, but sorry to say that I’ve got more now.
What’s inspired this particular rant is the fact that I’ve recently begunromancing Galein the game. Now, credit where it’s due: the whole romance cutscene is really beautifully done. It seems you have an option whether to rut right there on the ground or whether you want him to conjure up a scene where he takes you to his home in Waterdeep. From there, a glorious scene ensues where your two spirits float off into the cosmos and you engage in what can best be described as some kind of tantric celestial sex where your two spirit forms intertangle up in each other; extra Gales sprout out of nowhere, and you end up looking at this glorious star-like mass of limbs as the two of you get utterly lost in each other.
The ‘L’ Word
It’s great, but honestly it’s made awfully intense by a few loaded words that Gale says to you before the act: “I Love You.”
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a little love, let alone a little lovin’, but the declaration, as with simply felt unearned based on all the events leading up to that moment. Sure, Gale and I got along, but it was mostly just chit-chat and offering up a listening ear as he ruminated on the small matter of blowing him up to save the world. Usually, in the real world, the ‘L’ word comes wellafterthe sex(es), not before, and this ideal of the declaration happening then the two of you falling into each other’s arms feels like the sappiest of old Hollywood cliches. Can’t it just be one night of fun among the stars then just, y’know,see how it goes?
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Not all the companions are quite so gooey, but they all ultimately lead to similar declarations sooner or later (unless you really goof up). It’s a pretty similar story in Bioware RPGs, which in their defence do make you work for it more. I’m still waiting for an RPG that makes romance a little murkier and more complicated than the fairly linear path to love that most of them seem to offer.
For example, whether to continue a romance or not always seems to be largely in the player’s hands, and never do you have to face the bitter blow of rejection from a lover who, for example, may be dealing with issues of avoidance, or shame, or regret that need to be worked through. Or maybe they’re just not interested in going deeper, or evenusedyou, forcing you to come to terms with that. A good RPG often have so much thematic complexity, and yet in the realm of romance they often seem so incredibly simple.
Romance is always in the player’s hands, and never do you have to face the bitter blow of rejection from a lover.
Real-world love often requires work, patience, and compassion through the other person’s blocks and traumas for it to work. TheAstarion romancearguably comes closest to this, with some tender moments along the way, but it’s still a fundamentally one-way road to love; his many traumas don’t ultimately provide an obstacle to him letting you in, they’re simply things you have to tap the right dialogue options to, where in reality you’d maybe have to navigate him being hot-cold, avoidant, even defensive and aloof when confronting his past hurts.
There are moments here and there where Baldur’s Gate 3 flirts with less tropey romantic models. The Druid Halsin, for example, is a purveyor of non-monogamy, and true to the rules won’t be romanceable unless the player seeks consent from whoever they’re currently romancing. But even that seems a tad undermined when he later says that he’s only interested in you and isn’t interested in exploring himself, and despite the largely casual nature of the romance still seems deeply hurt if you break it off. So the undeniably progressive attempt at depicting non-monogamy or polyamory as a romance option falls a little flat.
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Love Is A Long Road
I’ve never been a huge fan of how romance is depicted in RPGs, because it never charts the ups and downs and difficulties and vagaries of romance; once you find out a given character’s angle of disposition, you double down on that and soon you’ll get the results you want. Then on the other hand—barring secondary characters you can hook up with as one-offs—romance is rarely designed as something casual in these games. Sure, you can sleep with a companion once, but should you choose to keep pursuing them, the option is always there. When will a companion rebut you and say ‘That was fun, but I don’t wish for it to go any further’? That wouldn’t have to be the end of things, but at least it’d present something of a challenge for you to win the heart of the one you desire.
Point being: it’s time for love to get more linear, because as Tom Petty said (most recently in that excellent GTA 6 trailer) ‘Love is a Long Road,’ and yet RPGs still have a tendency to depict it as a stroll in the park.
Baldur’s Gate 3
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